Mama Care - like day care, but better!
- chloejasmineliving
- Jan 3, 2022
- 4 min read
The most challenging role a woman could have - being a mother. Motherhood is a challenge to each woman. It is a challenge because women are not just mothers, but also wives, daughters, sisters, and friends and so so much more. The children are not the only ones that need to be taken care of- mothers also need to take care of themselves.
The idea that self-care is selfish or that it's bad for children has been debunked. The truth is that self-care is important for mothers to maintain their individual harmony and sanity. Self-care doesn't mean you're not taking care of your children, it just means you are doing something for yourself. Mothers should do whatever they can to create healthy boundaries so they don't become resentful or burnt out - as it is when these negative energies creep in, that we are most likely to engage in poor parenting choices or project our own low or negative feelings onto our children. You may be thinking, "yeah, okay - with what fucking time?!" I get it. Every time I think of the additional things I need to do to foster more engagement and positive developmental tools with my daughter - that very same thought pops in my head. My suggestion?
- she is only there to drag you further into the abyss of self pity and feelings of scarcity. Every time you hear that little voice of disaster and negativity pipe up, it's an opportunity to practice your self-worth and mindfulness.
Sometimes self-care means just that - recognizing your inner critic and shutting her off. Take it a step further and replace the negative critiques with words of affirmation or writing a list of all the things you got done today (no matter how mundane) and you may as well have just taken your mom-self to a spa!
Seriously, it doesn't have to be overly lavish or complex - I think we can all agree, one of the biggest parts of motherhood is letting go of over-the-top ideals - sometimes kind words and thoughts are just what the doctor ordered. And since your inner dialogue is already running, you'll need no additional time to put a positive filter on it.
Here are some practical ideas for self-care on the daily for BOTH working and stay-at-home Mamas:
When your child is making you insane and not listening to a word you are saying - pause and internally be grateful for having the words to communicate and the child to practice your communication skills on. Really, just think how many different ways your child/ children force you to learn to communicate productively.
Replace your inner critic with an inner-mom-super-fan. Exchange your mom guilt for mom gratitude and praise. Think about what a rock star you are and have been since you carried and pushed (or cut) this tiny human out of your body! Now imagine yourself on a stage, looking fabulous and having a standing ovation - it's ok to go a little wild, you deserve it.
Wake up 30 minutes earlier than the early-rising child. Enjoy and revel in the absolute silence of this time. Really, that's it - silence is so golden. If you're feeling extra - by all means - meditate, start speaking or writing your gratitude list for the day, do some yoga, breathe, stretch, go for a run - do whatever makes you feel YOU for that 30 minutes. Alternatively, you can stay up 30 minutes later in the evening and do the same thing.
Tune in and turn up - the MUSIC! Music is our universal language, it can bring us up or down and have us feeling all the feels. If you're sitting in carpool, stuck in traffic or just running from one thing to the next - turn on that song or genre that instantly uplifts your soul or takes you to a happy place and crank up the volume all the way. Be there, where ever there is and feel the music in your bones.
Write yourself a saucy love note and leave it somewhere you'll forget as soon as you move onto the next pressing thing. One day, whenever you find it, it will be there to make you smile.
Each Sunday night write 3 things on your bathroom mirror to remind you of who you are. Then every time you go to your bathroom, you can ask yourself - am I being true to me, am I caring for myself? This can help keep you in your authenticity.
Take on a project that inspires you and ignites your positive energy. At work or at home, find something that will recharge your batteries by accomplishing it - this can be anything from a craft DIY project or laundry to taking on a major campaign or high intensity project at work - we are all charged by different things.
Exercise, get dressed up, wear bright lipstick, and buy those shoes, take a bubble bath...
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