Patience: Do We Really Need It?

After planning, pining, dreaming, writing, and then waiting, and waiting, and waiting for so long - my website and the internet of all the 10,000 things are finally coming together. That being said, I think it's a great time to talk about patience, and furthermore, do we really need it?

Patience is NOT one of my virtues; it never has been, and I feel it has been a life-long lesson that the universe has been trying (and failing) to teach me. However, one day a few years ago, my own therapist told me, "maybe you don't need to be patient, maybe you have enough good virtues as it is."  That was such great news and the permission I have always craved, that I asked her to say it to me again as I was leaving so I could feel as elated as I did the first time she said it.  That little sentence gave me a new perspective on this illusive virtue I had been trying so unsuccessfully to behold my entire life (Perspective is covered in another post).  For years I have worked and tried to be what society considers to be "a patient person", somehow believing the old adage we often heard from our parents, that "Good things come to those who wait" or "if it's worth anything, it's worth the wait". I spent years connected to this ideal that if it was good, it would somehow come in due time (whatever that is) and that being patient meant being able to gracefully wait - well, unfortunately, waiting is where this graceful gal lost all sense of grace.  However, what I came to over time, was much better than patience. I found acceptance, allowance and I rewrote the old rules. 

I've always been told that I'm a hard person to buy gifts for because if I have expressed interest in something, I go out and get it myself.  I used to think that made me "high maintenance" or seemingly lacking patience, but it's not.  Patience is no longer defined by waiting gracefully, or thinking that if it's good I have to wait for it. Where I used to think it was bad that I lacked patience or that I didn't wait for anyone to give to me the things I wanted, I now know that it's a good thing.  Maybe I lacked patience because it also seemed to have a negative connotation in my eyes.  I saw too many people across multiple industries and walks of life and spirituality use patience as some sort of cop out.  That whole, "If I wait and believe, it will come";  which, by the way is a HUGE misconception about Manifestation and the Power of God (if we are talking about Christianity).  The Law of Attraction and The Bible don't say - "just sit on your ass and HOPE and PRAY that it will come", no, they say, dream about it, write it, believe in it so much that you feel it in your bones, make it real.  That last part is where most fail - making it real - because once you dream it, the part about believing it will come in time, means that YOU are doing everything in your power and focusing so hard on that goal, dream, whatever, that it HAS to come because you are using your will to make it so.  It's not because your dream or idea magically pulls itself out of the ether and reveals itself to you, it's BECAUSE YOU ALLOWED it to happen.  It can also be called relinquishing control.  Get ready for a doozy: we are all our own worst enemies. Yep, this applies to everyone and almost every situation.  We are only required to enlist the concept of patience when we are getting in our own way.  The truth is, we never have to wait, we just have to let go enough to make the things we want so.  Think about that last sentence while I drift into a little story to explain...

 I've been working on my logo for almost 3 years now, refining, revision after revision, and it's still NOT finished! I blamed the designer, I blamed the project manager for not managing the time of the designer properly, I blamed myself for not going with what I KNEW was the best logo for me YEARS before and now was seeing similar marks out there because I waited too long. The fact that I literally grew up in an Ad Agency and have, needless to say, an in-depth awareness of Brand and the impact of having a quality brand, a powerful mark (that's industry speak for logo), and so on has stagnated my progress in getting my brand out there and launching my master plan.  Because I believe it is suicide to choose the incorrect logo or not fully flesh out your brand as STEP 1 of your business process, and I consult all my start-up clients to start with their name, their mission, and their brand development BEFORE ever thinking about going to market - I couldn't possibly even begin to go to market without the perfect branding. (Eye Roll)  Here I am being the nightmare client to myself, of all people! 

The reason you want to begin with all that is because your mission, values, brand promise, etc., should all be woven seamlessly through your product and service offerings, content, and messaging.  Your Brand and the promises you make will dictate your audience, and how you speak to the world.  But Truthfully, because this is MY brainchild and MY truth, I KNOW what I want to offer, I know what I want to promise, and I know my values for this endeavor - so I really could start launching anytime and just be sure to circle back, if you will.  So I started.  And because I know so deeply and have written out in such detail my plans and what I want, I built a website in a mere few hours, I had my social media plans started to begin broadcasting my ideas to the world, and I had the designer sending me revisions that I had decided were good enough for now.  And so it began - this concept I have had in my head and my heart for 11 years - it's starting much smaller than I first dreamt of, but it's starting.  Not because I've thought about it so much that the universe is listening and just giving me what I want, but because I STARTED IT, I BELIEVE IT CAN HAPPEN and I AM MAKING IT HAPPEN.  I did it because I'm sick of standing on the sidelines making plans and designing the best ideas for everyone else, watching while other people take action.  Don't get me wrong, an idea is an action, it emits a great amount of energy into the world - however, if you don't act, guess what?  "We all come to late to say anything original", and your idea left in the dark, is nothing but AN IDEA, it is not yours, your don't own it, until YOU make it yours.  And I've spent years making my ideas come to life in the form of other successful businesses (which is also its own creative expression), but I want this one to be for me this time.  And because I wanted it, I had to be the one to make it so - at whatever cost I deemed necessary.  And today that cost is not having my perfect logo, but still, a logo I can stand by.  Not because I lack patience as a virtue, but because I truly want to start what I've dreamed of, I want to allow things to be set into motion; I want to get out of my own way and trust that my values, and my promise are enough.  I want to believe that I can get what I want, do what I want and achieve the success I want.

The concept of accepting what is and allowing the natural course of things to occur is an old one, and a Taoistic one.  As you may note, in my logo, an abstract symbol for Taoism; it is because The Tao is The Path, The Way; and the allowance of things to naturally occur. AKA, get out of your own way, sometimes YOU are that rock in the stream. Patience 2.0 isn't waiting, it's simply allowing nature to take its course when things are set into motion.  But remember the other law: Energy is neither created, nor destroyed, it is simply changed.  So in the same way, I am not making something happen out of nothing, I am taking what is already in the world and allowing it to work for me, through me.  This version of patience can apply to everything; a new business venture, a job, a relationship. getting over the death of a loved one, a divorce, starting a family, going on a vacation, becoming prosperous, etc..  If you think about it in regards to death and grieving - when do you finally get over the hump of grief after the death of a loved one? It's when you allow yourself the space to live and believe that life will go on, happily and peacefully, as it should, after that death. When do you finally get the love of your life? When you decide to allow yourself to have the relationship you deserve, when you decide you deserve the happiness you want. I say all this to say - FUCK BEING PATIENT! Leave patience behind and start allowing yourself to go get the things you want, to live the dreams you have, go be an active participant in that manifestation, because time waits for no one.

#Patience #FuckPatience #ChloeJasmineLiving #followme